A BLOG BY ALAN CHAMBERS

God's Grace for George Rekers & Jo-Vanni Roman

Cross-Posted from Exodus International Blog

It is being reported widely throughout the media that Dr. George Rekers, husband, father, NARTH Board Member, scholar, theologian and Baptist minister (to name just a few of the highlights), confirmed that he hired a 20 year-old man to accompany him on a 10-day European mission trip and extended vacation.  As it turns out, that young man happens to be a prostitute, as well.  And while there has been no allegation of sexual misconduct, Dr. Rekers actions, at best, lacked an enormous deal of discernment.  At worst, he is guilty of leading a double life, even if just in motivation.

  Despite the familiar human desire to throw the stone in my hand at Dr. Rekers, I cannot. He is a human who seems to have made a mistake.  He is a Christian who seems to be guilty of practicing what he has preached against.  It is that fact that alone causes the deepest feelings of anger to arise no matter what side of the debate one falls. Regardless of any sexual impropriety, his actions were not above reproach and that has hurt his, until now, excellent reputation. This fiasco has also fueled speculation and doubt about the lives of others who have chosen to pursue a life in Christ above their sexuality - people like me, and those I represent at Exodus. And while Dr. Rekers may be guilty of things beyond those he has admitted, he deserves no less grace than I or any in the gay community now reveling over what must feel like a victory beyond their wildest dreams in their campaign to prove that people affected by same-sex attraction cannot and should not do anything but embrace a narrow view of their same-sex attractions by adopting and celebrating a gay identity.

 And, what about the young man, Jo-Vanni Roman, at the center of this controversy.  The carnivorous gay bloggers and their followers seem most concerned with the downfall of a man, a marriage and a movement; not to mention the titillating photos and full bodily description of this boy barely out of high school.  While I can put myself in the shoes of those who are angered by the potential hypocrisy of the Rekers’ story, I cannot understand the gay communities’ lack of regard for this 20 year-old boy who has been prostituting himself to anyone who “asks” and “pays”.  While the gay community seems hell-bent on forcing everyone to be tolerant of their “just like everyone else” lives they seem completely incapable of showing Jo-Vanni Roman any compassion or care that this kid is so desperate for love or money or care that he would stoop to dehumanizing himself with anyone who can afford to use and abuse him.  That’s no less disgusting.

  Well, it’s time for the Church to rise up and show that the counterfeit really isn’t the best kind of community.  While it has been common in the Christian community to cast stones, extend the left foot of fellowship and shoot our wounded; the tide is changing.  And, I for one am inclined to extend a hand to George Rekers, the man, and offer him help.  He is, after all, a husband and father.  We have seen other devastating situations in families turn around.  Maybe this is the crisis that will lead George Rekers to find the healing he has been looking for, but afraid to admit he needed.   

And, Jo-Vanni, if you or anyone like you is reading this, call us.  We will listen because we care.  The one thing we absolutely know is that there is a God who loves, redeems and restores completely. Whatever the damage that has been done, people whom Christ loves and gave His life for are in need. As part of the Body of Christ, Exodus International helps those in need - no matter who they are or what they've done—even those who will seek to criticize us for this very offer.

Statement from Alan Chambers Regarding Exodus and Dawson McAllister

Recent events involving youth leader Dawson McAllister, Clear Channel Communications and Exodus International have been spotlighted in numerous blogs and publications over the past few days. While Exodus is no stranger to controversy, we are usually reluctant to make public statements critical of other organizations or leaders, particularly those for whom we have high personal regard. But the very public nature of this situation leaves us no choice but to clarify our feelings and position on the matter.

On Sunday April 11, a 22 year old gay blogger named Greg Kimball called into McAllister’s syndicated radio talk show Dawson McAllister Live, posing as a 16 year old seeking advice about his homosexuality. The show’s representative referred him to Exodus, which was listed on McAllister’s website as a partner. (Other partners on the site include Focus on the Family and Campus Crusade for Christ.) Kimball, apparently outraged that a youth-oriented radio show would refer people to Exodus, went public with his discovery, resulting in a number of communications to Clear Channel demanding they take action.

Clear Channel subsequently informed Dawson that he would need to remove Exodus’ name from his referral list. Citing its non-discriminatory policy, the company defended what many would view as censorship, stating that because of their commitment to diversity, they expect that “listeners who call (Dawson McAllister Live) be treated in a manner consistent with our corporate commitments to diversity.” Left with a choice between losing favor with Clear Channel by maintaining a relationship with Exodus, or maintaining media visibility by severing our ties, he chose the latter. On Thursday April 15 he informed us personally that, while he loves and supports Exodus, our name was now deleted from his partner’s list, and he will no longer refer to us. That decision has been well publicized, requiring a response.

Our esteem for Dawson is not in question here. His achievements are remarkable – <<over 1 million copies of his books and manuals sold; a 15 year broadcasting career; a radio show boasting over 140 stations – and I’ve made no secret of his impact on me.  In 1991 we met in Lakeland, Florida.  I was 19 at the time, and it was through his personal referral that I found Exodus International. Dawson McAllister was the catalyst for my journey, which eventually led me to direct the organization he’s now unwilling to officially associate with. (Could the irony be any more bitter?)

But respect notwithstanding, it’s troubling to see any Christian-led organization allow itself to be guided by the demands of pro-gay advocates. While Exodus is the group being marginalized in this case, it's the freedom to express a traditional viewpoint of sexuality that's really at stake, raising the obvious question: Who's Next? Should all on-air ministries who teach that homosexuality falls short of God’s will expect a knock on the door, demanding they either water it down or close shop? And if that knock comes, is the truth about human sexuality really a negotiable item? Is the definition of marriage and family so small a matter to Christian leaders that they’ll avoid inconvenient truth (or inconvenient relationships) to keep their audience? If so, we wonder what other Biblical truths are up for negotiation when on-air visibility is at stake.

We appreciate the need one group may have to distance itself from another. We’ve made that painful decision ourselves, when we’ve realized that differences in belief or approach were so great that we had no choice but to severe ties with those we could longer in good faith support. So if an associate no longer shares our position on homosexuality, we respect his need to break ties with us. Likewise, if someone shares our viewpoint but objects to the way we implement it, we hope they’ll discuss their concerns with us so we can consider them and, if no agreement can be reached, we wish them the best as they move on.

But according to both Dawson and his CEO (who also spoke with me by phone) this severance had nothing to do with disagreement. The CEO, in fact, assured me they still love Exodus and believe in what we are doing, which bothers me all the more. When organizational relations end due to irreconcilable differences of belief or practice, that makes sense. But when someone publicly dumps you then privately whispers “We still believe in what you’re doing”, isn’t some kind of double-mindedness at play? Both of them also stressed to me their desire to stay on Clear Channel, which is understandable. But at what cost? When a Christian leader is forced to choose between truth and market numbers, should market numbers really be the deciding factor?

Yes, according to Dawson’s CEO, who told me that only 1% of their callers over the past 15 months had phoned in with this issue. "Should we forsake the 99 percent for the 1 percent?" he asked. Had he remembered the parable of the lost sheep, in which a good shepherd left the 99 for the 1, he might have answered his own question. 

And there’s the rub. If Dawson McAllister was a secular, non-Christian leader, his priorities would make sense. But if he serves the One who warned “Woe unto you when all men speak well of you”, and follows in the steps of the Apostle who said, “If I seek the favor of men, I should not be a servant of Jesus Christ”, then his response to pressure from gay activists and Clear Channel is distressing. We earnestly hope it will be the exception, not the rule, when similar pressure is exerted on other visible leaders.

As for us, we’ll continue our commitment to Biblically based truth regarding homosexuality, and to that 1% that is, to us, precious. And on a personal note, I’ll admit that yes, I am sad, yet I am determined.  I'm not giving up or in.  You can count on me, 1%.  I'm for you, and both I and my colleagues at Exodus will continue to tell you the truth about God's never-ending grace and mercy.

To Contact Clear Channel:

Marc Mays, CEO, Clear Channel; Executive Assistant: Carole Adamek, 210-832-3306
Lisa Dollinger, Communications Director, Clear Channel: [email protected]
Ms. Dollinger's Executive Assistant: [email protected]; 210-832-334

When you call or write (OR BOTH), do not simply accept referrals to Premiere Radio--register your concern BOTH places. 

Click here to register your concerns with Dawson, as well.

Bible Comic for Youth

Please head over to Mike Ensley's blog, A Sociospiritual Oddity, for some great thoughts and a critique of The Truth for Youth Bible.

THANK YOU, Mr. President.

Finally, someone addresses the fact that trust was breeched and that children were violated.  Why did it take nearly a week for someone to focus on our number one priority: the children?

Read the President's statement released this morning at 10:28 PDT.

Hopefully we will hear more of this from other leaders.

Seriously, Congressmen, What About the Children?

Everyone is trying to cover their own butt related to the Mark Foley scandal.  Nancy Pelosi and other House Democrats are calling for investigations to see "who knew" about the predatory emails that former Rep. Foley (R-FL) was sending to high school age Congressional pages.  I just read that Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert said there was nothing more he could have done and House Majority Leader John Boehner say that he thought the "ball was in (Hastert's) court" concerning the 2005 allegations. 

Regardless of who is talking about this situation, be it the media, Republicans or Democrats, NO ONE is mentioning the children.  Frankly, I care far less about who knew than I do about these young men who were violated by Mr. Foley.  Where is the apology from the House leadership of both parties to these young men and their families?  Where is the assurance that this won't happen again? This shines a spotlight on the absolute selfishness of our leaders and highlights their lack of regard for anything but their own personal wellbeing.

The little faith that I had in our elected leaders is quickly dwindling.

Shame on Good Morning America, Democrats & Republicans! What About the Children?

Former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) is in big trouble for his alleged inappropriate (at best) emails to underage congressional pages.  As if the story isn't shocking enough, it just keeps getting worse.

This morning Good Morning America's Chris Cuomo reported that there is a chance that Republican Leadership has been aware of Rep. Foley's issues  for the last 5 years and that Congressional leaders had reported inappropriate behavior as recent as 2005.

The anchors, reporters and contributors of GMA seemed almost giddy when reporting that this case might have negative political implications for Republican leadership, the President and that it could cause the Democrats to win control of both the House and the Senate when the people go to the polls in 36 days.  It seems that the Dems are going to milk this crisis for all the political capital that it is worth in an attempt to win seats.

Regardless of who knew what and when, this is about wrong vs. right.  Rep. Foley has a problem that is far bigger than his public office or whether or not this will hurt his fellow Republicans at the polls in November.  Shame on GMA, Democrats and Republicans alike for even thinking about politics at a time like this.  That is disgusting.

Rep. Foley is accused of attempting to molest children---possibly having succeeded in his attempt(s).  Pedophilia is a sickness that needs to be addressed in our over sexed culture.  If Rep. Foley is found guilty of these charges then he needs to go to jail and to seek therapy. 

If Republican leadership did indeed know of Rep. Foley's past indiscretions then they should also resign and face charges for withholding information on crimes against children.  If that means Republicans lose seats this year or even the White House in 2008 then so be it.  Children come first.  End of discussion.

Lastly, this morning I was reading a gay weblog where the blogger "hoped" that Foley was innocent because being found guilty might not bode well for the GLBT community.  As with the Dems and Republicans, who cares how this affects the GLBT community or any other group for that matter.  How about hoping that Foley is innocent for the sole purpose that it means children weren't hurt.

American College of Pediatrics: 'Irresponsible to Change the Age-Old Prohibition on Homosexual Parenting'

Homosexual Parenting: Is It Time For Change?

Are children reared by two individuals of the same gender as well adjusted as children reared in families with a mother and a father? Until recently the unequivocal answer to this question was "no." Policymakers, social scientists, the media, and even physician organizations1, however, are now asserting that prohibitions on parenting by homosexual couples should be lifted. In making such far-reaching, generation-changing assertions, any responsible advocate would rely upon supporting evidence that is comprehensive and conclusive. Not only is this not the situation, but also there is sound evidence that children exposed to the homosexual lifestyle may be at increased risk for emotional, mental, and even physical harm.

Research data

Heterosexual parenting is the normative model upon which most comprehensive longitudinal research on childrearing has been based. Data on long-term outcomes for children placed in homosexual households are very limited and the available evidence reveals grave concerns. Those current studies that appear to indicate neutral to favorable results from homosexual parenting have critical flaws such as non-longitudinal design, inadequate sample size, biased sample selection, lack of proper controls, and failure to account for confounding variables.2,3,4 Childrearing studies have consistently indicated that children are more likely to thrive emotionally, mentally, and physically in a home with two heterosexual parents versus a home with a single parent. 5,6,7,8,9 Therefore, the burden is on the proponents of homosexual parenting to prove that moving further away from the heterosexual parenting model is appropriate and safe for children.

Risks of Homosexual Lifestyle to Children

Violence among homosexual partners is two to three times more common than among married heterosexual couples. 10,11,12,13,14 Homosexual partnerships are significantly more prone to dissolution than heterosexual marriages with the average homosexual relationship lasting only two to three years. 15,16,17 Homosexual men and women are reported to be inordinately promiscuous involving serial sex partners, even within what are loosely-termed "committed relationships." 18,19,20,21,22 Individuals who practice a homosexual lifestyle are more likely than heterosexuals to experience mental illness,23,24,25 substance abuse,26 suicidal tendencies,27,28 and shortened life spans.29 Although some would claim that these dysfunctions are a result of societal pressures in America, the same dysfunctions exist at inordinately high levels among homosexuals in cultures were the practice is more widely accepted.30 Children reared in homosexual households are more likely to experience sexual confusion, practice homosexual behavior, and engage in sexual experimentation. 31,32,33,34,35 Adolescents and young adults who adopt the homosexual lifestyle, like their adult counterparts, are at increased risk of mental health problems, including major depression, anxiety disorder, conduct disorder, substance dependence, and especially suicidal ideation and suicide attempts.36

Conclusion

The research literature on childrearing by homosexual parents is limited. The environment in which children are reared is absolutely critical to their development. Given the current body of research, the American College of Pediatricians believes it is inappropriate, potentially hazardous to children, and dangerously irresponsible to change the age-old prohibition on homosexual parenting, whether by adoption, foster care, or by reproductive manipulation. This position is rooted in the best available science.

January 22, 2004

The American College of Pediatricians is a national medical association of licensed physicians and healthcare professionals who specialize in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The mission of the College is "to enable all children to reach their optimal, physical and emotional health and well-being." We promote "a society where all children from the moment of their conception are valued unselfishly." The College further notes, "that children are the future of our nation and society. As such, they deserve to be reared in the best possible family environment and supported by physicians committed to ensuring their optimal health and well-being."

ENDNOTES

1 American Academy of Pediatrics, “Co parent or Second-Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents,” Pediatrics. 109(2002): 339-340.

2 Robert Lerner, Ph.D., Althea Nagai, Ph.D. No Basis: What the Studies Don't Tell Us About Same Sex Parenting, Washington DC; Marriage Law Project/Ethics and Public Policy Center, 2001.

3 P. Morgan, Children as Trophies? Examining the Evidence on Same-sex Parenting, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK; Christian Institute, 2002.

4 J. Paul Guiliani and Dwight G. Duncan, "Brief of Amici Curiae Massachusetts Family Institute and National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality," Appeal to the Supreme Court of Vermont, Docket No. S1009-97CnC.

5 Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandfeur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 45

6 Sotirios Sarantakos, "Children in Three Contexts: Family, Education, and Social Development," Children Australia, vol. 21 (1996): 23-31.

7 Jeanne M. Hilton and Esther L. Devall, "Comparison of Parenting and Children’s Behavior in Single-Mother, Single-Father, and Intact Families," Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 29 (1998): 23-54.

8 Elizabeth Thomson et al., "Family Structure and Child Well-Being: Economic Resources vs. Parental Behaviors," Social Forces 73 (1994): 221-42.

9 David Popenoe, Life Without Father (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1996), pp. 144, 146.

10 Gwat Yong Lie and Sabrina Gentlewarrier, "Intimate Violence in Lesbian Relationships: Discussion of Survey Findings and Practice Implications," Journal of Social Service Research 15 (1991): 41-59.

11 D. Island and P. Letellier, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence (New York: Haworth Press, 1991), p. 14.

12 Lettie L. Lockhart et al., "Letting out the Secret: Violence in Lesbian Relationships," Journal of Interpersonal Violence 9 (1994): 469-492.

13 "Violence Between Intimates," Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings, November 1994, p. 2.

14 Health Implications Associated With Homosexuality (Austin: The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, 1999), p. 79.

15 David P. McWhirter and Andrew M. Mattison, The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop (Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall, 1984), pp. 252, 253.

16 M. Saghir and E. Robins, Male and Female Homosexuality (Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins, 1973), p. 225; L. A. Peplau and H. Amaro, "Understanding Lesbian Relationships," in Homosexuality: Social, Psychological, and Biological Issues, ed. J. Weinrich and W. Paul (Beverly Hills: Sage, 1982).

17 M. Pollak, "Male Homosexuality," in Western Sexuality: Practice and Precept in Past and Present Times, ed. P. Aries and A. Bejin, translated by Anthony Forster (New York, NY: B. Blackwell, 1985), pp. 40-61, cited by Joseph Nicolosi in Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality (Northvale, New Jersey: Jason Aronson Inc., 1991), pp. 124, 125.

18 A. P. Bell and M. S. Weinberg, Homosexualities: A Study of Diversity Among Men and Women (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978), pp. 308, 309; See also A. P. Bell, M. S. Weinberg, and S. K. Hammersmith, Sexual Preference (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1981).

19 Paul Van de Ven et al., "A Comparative Demographic and Sexual Profile of Older Homosexually Active Men," Journal of Sex Research 34 (1997): 354.

20 A. A. Deenen, "Intimacy and Sexuality in Gay Male Couples," Archives of Sexual Behavior, 23 (1994): 421-431.

21 "Sex Survey Results," Genre (October 1996), quoted in "Survey Finds 40 percent of Gay Men Have Had More Than 40 Sex Partners," Lambda Report, January 1998, p. 20.

22 Maria Xiridoui, et al., “The Contribution of Steady and Casual Partnerships to the Incidence of HIV Infection among Homosexual Men in Amsterdam,” AIDS 17 (2003): 1029-1038. [Note: one of the findings of this recent study is that those classified as being in “steady relationships” reported an average of 8 casual partners a year in addition to their partner (p. 1032)]

23 J. Bradford et al., "National Lesbian Health Care Survey: Implications for Mental Health Care," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 62 (1994): 239, cited in Health Implications Associated with Homosexuality, p. 81.

24 Theo G. M. Sandfort, et al., "Same-sex Sexual Behavior and Psychiatric Disorders," Archives of General Psychiatry 58 (January 2001): 85-91.

25 Bailey, J.M. Commentary: Homosexuality and mental illness. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry. 56 (1999): 876-880. Author states, "These studies contain arguably the best published data on the association between homosexuality and psychopathology, and both converge on the same unhappy conclusion: homosexual people are at substantially higher risk for some forms of emotional problems, including suicidality, major depression, and anxiety disorder, conduct disorder, and nicotine dependence...."

26 Joanne Hall, "Lesbians Recovering from Alcoholic Problems: An Ethnographic Study of Health Care Expectations," Nursing Research 43 (1994): 238-244

27 R. Herrell et al., "Sexual Orientation and Suicidality, Co-twin Study in Adult Men," Archives of General Psychiatry 56 (1999): 867-874.

28 Vickie M. Mays, et al., "Risk of Psychiatric Disorders among Individuals Reporting Same-sex Sexual Partners in the National Comorbidity Survey," American Journal of Public Health, vol. 91 (June 2001): 933-939.

29 Robert S. Hogg et al., "Modeling the Impact of HIV Disease on Mortality in Gay and Bisexual Men," International Journal of Epidemiology 26 (1997): 657.

30 Sandfort, T.G.M.; de Graaf, R.; Bijl, R.V.; Schnabel. Same-sex sexual behavior and psychiatric disorders. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry. 58 (2001): 85-91.

31 F. Tasker and S. Golombok, "Adults Raised as Children in Lesbian Families," American Journal of Orthopsychiatric Association, 65 (1995): 213.

32 J. Michael Bailey et al., "Sexual Orientation of Adult Sons of Gay Fathers," Developmental Psychology 31 (1995): 124-129

33 Ibid., pp. 127, 128.

34 F. Tasker and S. Golombok, "Do Parents Influence the Sexual Orientation of Their Children?" Developmental Psychology 32 (1996): 7.

35 Judith Stacey and Timothy J. Biblarz, "(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter," American Sociological Review 66 (2001): 174, 179.

36 D. Fergusson et al., "Is Sexual Orientation Related to Mental Health Problems and Suicidality in Young People?" Archives of General Psychiatry 56 (October 1999).

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Shame on ABC World News Tonight

My letter to ABC World News Tonight:

Dear ABC:

I was outraged that your coverage of the anarchy related to same-sex marriage in San Francisco included footage of gay men and lesbian women kissing passionately.

ABC World News Tonight isn't a Rated R show that kids can't get into, nor is it on HBO or Cinemax that one has to subscribe to; ABC World News Tonight is on during times when kids are at home, sitting in the den or at the table watching TV.

You have offended my wife and me, put parents all over the country in a compromising situation and alienated your viewers.

If ABC World News Tonight is going to be a program that exposes children to things that they don't need to know about, needs an R rating and promotes controversial (at very best) sexuality on it's show then maybe you should move it to a midnight time slot.

No wonder so many people are turning ABC off.

Alan Chambers

Letter to The Boston Globe

Dear Ms. Chinlund (Ombusdman for The Boston Globe):

My name is Alan Chambers and I used to be gay. It is because of my great interest in the education of young people on the subject of healthy sexuality that I am writing you today regarding the article 'HOPE FOR THE FUTURE' WITH THE RIGHT TO MARRY IN THE BALANCE, GAY TEENS DREAM OF A WEDDING DAY. Within the article there were many factual discrepensies that I would like for you and the Globe to address.

First of all, I find it incredible that the Boston Globe is promoting teenage marriage. A 16 year old boy is barely able to committ to Friday night plans let alone a life partner. I highly doubt that this subject would have been broached if Patrick was interested in marrying a 16 year old girl. No one in their right mind would encourage high school students to marry at such a young, emotional and underdeveloped age. However, there is a double standard when it comes to the relentless promotion of all things homosexual. Because Patrick wants to marry another boy marriage is all of a sudden okay for those underage. How can the Globe logically argue in favor of high school students getting married? Why not encourage post high-school education, continued physical and emotional maturation, settling into a career and other life skills that will encourage healthy personal and societal growth? Don’t you know that those who marry in high school are less likely to finish their education, almost guaranteed not to go to college and more apt to ask society to foot their bill via welfare programs? Don’t you know that those who marry very young are at greater risk for divorce because they were too young to make an informed decision?

As for the fact that this was a pro-homosexual marriage piece, I found the article devoid of responsibility and wise counsel for young people in need of life-giving advice and direction. The statistics are alarming: the number one killer of gay men is still AIDS related illness. One of the highest rates of HIV infection is in gay young men between the ages of 16 – 25. With monogamous gay relationships lasting, on average, 2 months you have just encouraged two minors to marry one another when they will likely be divorced within a year only to repeat the viscious and emotionally destructive cycle again.

The Boston Globe has a responsibility to print the facts and this article was seriously lacking where facts are concerned. How about reporting that no study has ever been successful in linking homosexuality to genetic or biological factors. How about quoting Dr. Dean Hamer, a gay researcher, who conducted the infamous study on chromosomes and later stated that it was his finding that female homoxexuality was 100% developmental and that it was his belief that this would be proven to be the case with male homosexuality, as well. How about promoting more study, research and open dialogue concerning the emotional, medical and psychological facts concerning homosexuality. How about presenting the truth that tens of thousands of men and women have successfully changed their sexual orientation and that teaching any thing less than further education and sexual maturity among teenagers is wreckless and life threatening.

Don’t make furthering a politcal agenda more important than the lives of young people.

Sincerely,

Alan Chambers

One of the Reasons I Oppose Same-Sex Marriage

I remember being a lonely 18 year old searching for Mr. Right. I remember the ache to have a man hold me, protect me, love me and devote his life to me. I remember thinking that I would do anything to fill that insatiable need. I did everything short of praying for my knight in shining armor to show up on my doorstep. I was certain that the missing piece of my life’s puzzle was going to be found in the man of my dreams.

Nearly 14 years later I am happy, content and satisfied emotionally, physically, spiritually, sexually and relationally. Indeed, my needs were met by a man who has filled my life with the greatest security, intimacy and love imaginable. The man I met, however, was Jesus Christ. Because of Christ my needs were met, my life was changed and this month I celebrated my 6th wedding anniversary with my wife, Leslie.

Had same-sex marriage been legal in 1990 I am certain that I would have tested that option. I met men whom I wanted to “marry”. Yet, as I look back as a mature adult, I realize that I wasn’t searching for a man as much as I was searching for an answer, a drug if you will, to numb the pain and make me feel better about who I was. The law kept me from making one, if not many, huge mistakes. And while honoring and preserving the sanctity of heterosexual marriage is the bedrock of my opposition to redefining marriage to suit a few, I believe a positive bi-product of keeping same-sex marriage illegal is that it will save tens of thousands of hurting young people like me from the biggest mistakes of their lives: looking to man to meet a need that only God can meet.

I encourage you to take a stand for today’s gay youth by opposing same-sex marriage; they may not thank you today, but protecting them now provides them with a better chance of being around to thank you later.