A BLOG BY ALAN CHAMBERS

God's Grace for George Rekers & Jo-Vanni Roman

Cross-Posted from Exodus International Blog

It is being reported widely throughout the media that Dr. George Rekers, husband, father, NARTH Board Member, scholar, theologian and Baptist minister (to name just a few of the highlights), confirmed that he hired a 20 year-old man to accompany him on a 10-day European mission trip and extended vacation.  As it turns out, that young man happens to be a prostitute, as well.  And while there has been no allegation of sexual misconduct, Dr. Rekers actions, at best, lacked an enormous deal of discernment.  At worst, he is guilty of leading a double life, even if just in motivation.

  Despite the familiar human desire to throw the stone in my hand at Dr. Rekers, I cannot. He is a human who seems to have made a mistake.  He is a Christian who seems to be guilty of practicing what he has preached against.  It is that fact that alone causes the deepest feelings of anger to arise no matter what side of the debate one falls. Regardless of any sexual impropriety, his actions were not above reproach and that has hurt his, until now, excellent reputation. This fiasco has also fueled speculation and doubt about the lives of others who have chosen to pursue a life in Christ above their sexuality - people like me, and those I represent at Exodus. And while Dr. Rekers may be guilty of things beyond those he has admitted, he deserves no less grace than I or any in the gay community now reveling over what must feel like a victory beyond their wildest dreams in their campaign to prove that people affected by same-sex attraction cannot and should not do anything but embrace a narrow view of their same-sex attractions by adopting and celebrating a gay identity.

 And, what about the young man, Jo-Vanni Roman, at the center of this controversy.  The carnivorous gay bloggers and their followers seem most concerned with the downfall of a man, a marriage and a movement; not to mention the titillating photos and full bodily description of this boy barely out of high school.  While I can put myself in the shoes of those who are angered by the potential hypocrisy of the Rekers’ story, I cannot understand the gay communities’ lack of regard for this 20 year-old boy who has been prostituting himself to anyone who “asks” and “pays”.  While the gay community seems hell-bent on forcing everyone to be tolerant of their “just like everyone else” lives they seem completely incapable of showing Jo-Vanni Roman any compassion or care that this kid is so desperate for love or money or care that he would stoop to dehumanizing himself with anyone who can afford to use and abuse him.  That’s no less disgusting.

  Well, it’s time for the Church to rise up and show that the counterfeit really isn’t the best kind of community.  While it has been common in the Christian community to cast stones, extend the left foot of fellowship and shoot our wounded; the tide is changing.  And, I for one am inclined to extend a hand to George Rekers, the man, and offer him help.  He is, after all, a husband and father.  We have seen other devastating situations in families turn around.  Maybe this is the crisis that will lead George Rekers to find the healing he has been looking for, but afraid to admit he needed.   

And, Jo-Vanni, if you or anyone like you is reading this, call us.  We will listen because we care.  The one thing we absolutely know is that there is a God who loves, redeems and restores completely. Whatever the damage that has been done, people whom Christ loves and gave His life for are in need. As part of the Body of Christ, Exodus International helps those in need - no matter who they are or what they've done—even those who will seek to criticize us for this very offer.

It's Hard to Hate a President that You Pray For

My wife, kids and I have been praying almost daily for Barack, Michelle, Sasha, and Malia Obama since they became the First Family Elect of the United States.  We had voted for John McCain and, frankly, were very nervous about an Obama presidency.  During the campaigning process I was very vocal about my support for McCain and my opposition to Obama.  This is the United States and I am very thankful for the right to speak my mind freely.  People of every race, creed, color, orientation, political affiliation, and religion should always have that right.  There is no harm in having or expressing an opinion.

 However, infinitely more important than being able to express my opinion as an American is my desire as a Christian to care about people’s hearts above those right or wrong opinions.  And, while I am, as a citizen of the United States, regularly and carefully sharing my thoughts with our elected officials I am far more often simply praying for the people voters have entrusted with leading us.

 I am sure that the concept of hating a president or elected official isn’t too far from many people’s minds these days.  The media has always been very quick to show the stories of those who seem to hate a president.  I hear from people daily who hate President Obama’s policies and trash him all day long for them.  Sometimes, maybe often times, I sense that conservatives, more specifically for the purposes of this article, evangelical conservatives, hate this president’s policies and try to defeat them more than they love the man as their neighbor and pray for his heart.  I know for a fact that if I didn’t pray for Barack Obama and his family daily that I would be guilty of the same thing.  It is my praying for the Obama family that keeps me from sinning against them with a reckless tongue.

 I have written before about Former Governor Jesse Ventura’s comment that religion is a crutch for the weak.  In the case of praying for Barack Obama my faith is more like a brick wall for me.  I am weak and I willingly and gladly admit it.  I am too weak not to pray for the daily strength to overcome the sin of unhealthy criticism.  I am too weak not to pray for the ability to love my fellow man with which I have so many deep disagreements.  I pray because I must.  I pray because I will fail miserably if I don’t.  Having failed far more times than I care to number, I daily choose to succeed.  In this particular case, I am choosing to succeed at loving and praying for a president that I don’t agree with, that I didn’t vote for and for his heart that I do not understand. 

 God loves Barack Obama and his family as much as He loves me and mine and wants them for His own—if they aren’t already.  I cannot judge him because I haven’t walked a step in his shoes let alone a mile.  So, as a citizen I will be proactive in sharing my opinions, but far more often my wife, four-year-old son and daughter and I will bow our heads, quiet our hearts and pray this prayer:

 Dear Jesus, This morning we pray for Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, Malia and Sasha Obama to come to know you if they don’t already.  We pray that President Obama would become the best Christian president this nation has ever known.  Guide him, protect him and help him to seek you.  We pray for his cabinet and administration and for every decision he will make for our country today.  We trust you, Lord.  Amen.

 

 

Surgery to Prevent Homosexuality?

The 'Sheep Study' of 2005 has resurfaced.  For those of you who don't recall the 'Sheep Study' don't worry---I barely remember the details.  Suffice it to say, some researchers were trying to once again prove that homosexuality is genetic this time based upon a group of rams within the Corvallis herd that " consistently ignore females and bestow all their amorous attentions on members of their own sex".  This herd resides at Oregon State University.

Fast forward to 2007.  Not only has the study reared its baaaaad self  again, there are new questions being raised over whether or not in-utero surgery should be considered to manipulate a gay gene if it were found in a pre-born child.

WHAT?? 

Pardon me while I take a deep breath and try to remain calm. 

First of all, would we even be talking about this if a genetic link to heterosexual pornography had been found?  I think not.  There has been some credible evidence to support that there is a genetic link to alcoholism.  Have we seen any news articles discussing whether or not we should "fix" this problem in-utero?  Uh uh.

I am not sure whether or not homosexuality has a genetic link or not.  Frankly, I don't care.  What I do know is that I can logically look back at my development and understand why I struggled with homosexuality.  From my inborn personality traits to how I perceived and responded to the environment in which I was raised, I believe that most of my issues were developmental in nature.  Regardless of the roots, I believe that homosexuality is a sinful condition like so many others and my choice, based upon unchosen circumstances and feelings, was to pursue a life that lined up with my faith. 

I think that like everything else, homosexuality is multi-causal.  To simply pawn it off on genetics invalidates its complexity and my story.  To say that it is all developmental might invalidate your story and any sound genetic research that has or is being done.  To say that homosexuality is simply caused by a gay demon, in my experience and opinion, is ridiculous. 

I was asked this morning if I would have supported my mother's decision to fix any genetic mutation that might have caused homosexuality had she been made aware of the problem before I was born.  The answer is no.  And, I am sure that is what my mom would have said, too. 

In fact, as an almost 41 year old woman mom found out that she was pregnant with her 6th child about the same time she was becoming a grandmother for the 3rd time.  My mother's doctor told her that she was too old to go through with her pregnancy and that if she did she would most likely have a mongoloid baby.  My mom decided that this was her last pregnancy, she wasn't going to worry for 9 months and that she would love a mongoloid baby as much as a healthy one.

The truth is that we all have to take responsibility for ourselves.  When someone realizes that they have same-sex attractions they have to decide what to do about that.  Of course, I believe that homosexuality is changeable and I believe, based upon my own story, that it is preventable.  But, I don't believe that a pill or surgery or holding someone will provide the results that some hope for---there is no quick fix or formula to changing one's sexuality.  Instead, most successful and longterm change occurs when one decides to daily submit their mind, will and emotions to the Lordship of Jesus Christ.  Some find freedom from feelings and attractions while others simply find freedom from an identity that was incompatible with their faith.

THANK YOU, Mr. President.

Finally, someone addresses the fact that trust was breeched and that children were violated.  Why did it take nearly a week for someone to focus on our number one priority: the children?

Read the President's statement released this morning at 10:28 PDT.

Hopefully we will hear more of this from other leaders.

Seriously, Congressmen, What About the Children?

Everyone is trying to cover their own butt related to the Mark Foley scandal.  Nancy Pelosi and other House Democrats are calling for investigations to see "who knew" about the predatory emails that former Rep. Foley (R-FL) was sending to high school age Congressional pages.  I just read that Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert said there was nothing more he could have done and House Majority Leader John Boehner say that he thought the "ball was in (Hastert's) court" concerning the 2005 allegations. 

Regardless of who is talking about this situation, be it the media, Republicans or Democrats, NO ONE is mentioning the children.  Frankly, I care far less about who knew than I do about these young men who were violated by Mr. Foley.  Where is the apology from the House leadership of both parties to these young men and their families?  Where is the assurance that this won't happen again? This shines a spotlight on the absolute selfishness of our leaders and highlights their lack of regard for anything but their own personal wellbeing.

The little faith that I had in our elected leaders is quickly dwindling.

Shame on Good Morning America, Democrats & Republicans! What About the Children?

Former Rep. Mark Foley (R-FL) is in big trouble for his alleged inappropriate (at best) emails to underage congressional pages.  As if the story isn't shocking enough, it just keeps getting worse.

This morning Good Morning America's Chris Cuomo reported that there is a chance that Republican Leadership has been aware of Rep. Foley's issues  for the last 5 years and that Congressional leaders had reported inappropriate behavior as recent as 2005.

The anchors, reporters and contributors of GMA seemed almost giddy when reporting that this case might have negative political implications for Republican leadership, the President and that it could cause the Democrats to win control of both the House and the Senate when the people go to the polls in 36 days.  It seems that the Dems are going to milk this crisis for all the political capital that it is worth in an attempt to win seats.

Regardless of who knew what and when, this is about wrong vs. right.  Rep. Foley has a problem that is far bigger than his public office or whether or not this will hurt his fellow Republicans at the polls in November.  Shame on GMA, Democrats and Republicans alike for even thinking about politics at a time like this.  That is disgusting.

Rep. Foley is accused of attempting to molest children---possibly having succeeded in his attempt(s).  Pedophilia is a sickness that needs to be addressed in our over sexed culture.  If Rep. Foley is found guilty of these charges then he needs to go to jail and to seek therapy. 

If Republican leadership did indeed know of Rep. Foley's past indiscretions then they should also resign and face charges for withholding information on crimes against children.  If that means Republicans lose seats this year or even the White House in 2008 then so be it.  Children come first.  End of discussion.

Lastly, this morning I was reading a gay weblog where the blogger "hoped" that Foley was innocent because being found guilty might not bode well for the GLBT community.  As with the Dems and Republicans, who cares how this affects the GLBT community or any other group for that matter.  How about hoping that Foley is innocent for the sole purpose that it means children weren't hurt.

Exodus Aids in Victorious Transgender Case

The Herald-Star

Ruling made in case of gender identity

STEUBENVILLE - A Jefferson County common pleas court judge has ordered a male child must remain a male, despite the desire of the mother to diagnose her son as having gender identity disorder. A Jefferson County woman and her ex-husband, who lives in Colliers, are involved in a custody battle for their 9-year-old son. At the heart of the custody case was the boy's desire to wear women's clothing, at least when he is with his mother.

The boy's mother had taken the child to a couple doctors, who diagnosed him with gender identity disorder. Then, the boy's father took him to different doctors, who did not diagnose him with the disorder.

GID is a disorder in which a male or female exhibits characteristics of, insists they are and enjoys the activities of the opposite sex. To be diagnosed with GID, a person must exhibit four of five main criteria listed by the Harry Benjamin Study, the benchmark of GID studies.

Common Pleas Judge Joseph Bruzzese Jr. issued his ruling on the case Friday ruling in favor of the father. In the judge's order, he stated the mother embraced the idea of GID long before she took her son to the first doctor.

Bruzzese states in the order that when her son was 4 she told him "he could grow up and be a girl" and has been taking the son to transgender support groups. The order states the mother's boyfriend is an apparent male, who used to be a female, that she met at one of these support groups.

"(The) mother has not only been supportive of (name deleted)'s female identity, but has actually charged headlong into it with the apparent objective of making it come true," Bruzzese's order states.

During hearings on the case, testimony was presented the mother enrolled her son as a transgender at a Niles school. The mother said she was enrolling her son as a transgender partly on the advice of two doctors. The doctors suggested the boy undergo a real-life experience, during which he would dress and live as a girl for an extended period of time.

However, both doctors said a real-life experience should be done in the community the child lives in, based on the guidelines of the American Psychiatric Association's Diagnostic Statistical Manual 4, which is a manual of mental and emotional conditions that lists criteria for diagnosing conditions.

The court stopped the enrollment when the father found out. This is also when the court ordered the boy to be dressed as a boy and referred to as such.

In July, the mother took the boy to Geauga Lake in a bikini, despite the court order. The mother also violated the court order by referring to her son as "she" and "transgender."

The parents have a shared parenting plan, where they are both the residential parent during different days of the week. Before the ruling, the mother was the majority residential parent.

Bruzzese ruled the mother will have the couples' two children from Sunday evening through Tuesday evening and the father will have the children the remaining five days. The judge also ordered the child not be permitted to wear girl clothes or go by a girl's name.

Bruzzese said the boy cannot attend transgender support groups. He warned the mother that, given her prior history of disobeying court orders, any small infraction of the orders may result her receiving only supervised visitation.

Bruzzese also said both parents should undergo psychological evaluations and the child shall receive counseling.

Hovershot

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American College of Pediatrics: 'Irresponsible to Change the Age-Old Prohibition on Homosexual Parenting'

Homosexual Parenting: Is It Time For Change?

Are children reared by two individuals of the same gender as well adjusted as children reared in families with a mother and a father? Until recently the unequivocal answer to this question was "no." Policymakers, social scientists, the media, and even physician organizations1, however, are now asserting that prohibitions on parenting by homosexual couples should be lifted. In making such far-reaching, generation-changing assertions, any responsible advocate would rely upon supporting evidence that is comprehensive and conclusive. Not only is this not the situation, but also there is sound evidence that children exposed to the homosexual lifestyle may be at increased risk for emotional, mental, and even physical harm.

Research data

Heterosexual parenting is the normative model upon which most comprehensive longitudinal research on childrearing has been based. Data on long-term outcomes for children placed in homosexual households are very limited and the available evidence reveals grave concerns. Those current studies that appear to indicate neutral to favorable results from homosexual parenting have critical flaws such as non-longitudinal design, inadequate sample size, biased sample selection, lack of proper controls, and failure to account for confounding variables.2,3,4 Childrearing studies have consistently indicated that children are more likely to thrive emotionally, mentally, and physically in a home with two heterosexual parents versus a home with a single parent. 5,6,7,8,9 Therefore, the burden is on the proponents of homosexual parenting to prove that moving further away from the heterosexual parenting model is appropriate and safe for children.

Risks of Homosexual Lifestyle to Children

Violence among homosexual partners is two to three times more common than among married heterosexual couples. 10,11,12,13,14 Homosexual partnerships are significantly more prone to dissolution than heterosexual marriages with the average homosexual relationship lasting only two to three years. 15,16,17 Homosexual men and women are reported to be inordinately promiscuous involving serial sex partners, even within what are loosely-termed "committed relationships." 18,19,20,21,22 Individuals who practice a homosexual lifestyle are more likely than heterosexuals to experience mental illness,23,24,25 substance abuse,26 suicidal tendencies,27,28 and shortened life spans.29 Although some would claim that these dysfunctions are a result of societal pressures in America, the same dysfunctions exist at inordinately high levels among homosexuals in cultures were the practice is more widely accepted.30 Children reared in homosexual households are more likely to experience sexual confusion, practice homosexual behavior, and engage in sexual experimentation. 31,32,33,34,35 Adolescents and young adults who adopt the homosexual lifestyle, like their adult counterparts, are at increased risk of mental health problems, including major depression, anxiety disorder, conduct disorder, substance dependence, and especially suicidal ideation and suicide attempts.36

Conclusion

The research literature on childrearing by homosexual parents is limited. The environment in which children are reared is absolutely critical to their development. Given the current body of research, the American College of Pediatricians believes it is inappropriate, potentially hazardous to children, and dangerously irresponsible to change the age-old prohibition on homosexual parenting, whether by adoption, foster care, or by reproductive manipulation. This position is rooted in the best available science.

January 22, 2004

The American College of Pediatricians is a national medical association of licensed physicians and healthcare professionals who specialize in the care of infants, children, and adolescents. The mission of the College is "to enable all children to reach their optimal, physical and emotional health and well-being." We promote "a society where all children from the moment of their conception are valued unselfishly." The College further notes, "that children are the future of our nation and society. As such, they deserve to be reared in the best possible family environment and supported by physicians committed to ensuring their optimal health and well-being."

ENDNOTES

1 American Academy of Pediatrics, “Co parent or Second-Parent Adoption by Same-Sex Parents,” Pediatrics. 109(2002): 339-340.

2 Robert Lerner, Ph.D., Althea Nagai, Ph.D. No Basis: What the Studies Don't Tell Us About Same Sex Parenting, Washington DC; Marriage Law Project/Ethics and Public Policy Center, 2001.

3 P. Morgan, Children as Trophies? Examining the Evidence on Same-sex Parenting, Newcastle upon Tyne, UK; Christian Institute, 2002.

4 J. Paul Guiliani and Dwight G. Duncan, "Brief of Amici Curiae Massachusetts Family Institute and National Association for the Research and Therapy of Homosexuality," Appeal to the Supreme Court of Vermont, Docket No. S1009-97CnC.

5 Sara McLanahan and Gary Sandfeur, Growing Up with a Single Parent: What Hurts, What Helps (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1994), p. 45

6 Sotirios Sarantakos, "Children in Three Contexts: Family, Education, and Social Development," Children Australia, vol. 21 (1996): 23-31.

7 Jeanne M. Hilton and Esther L. Devall, "Comparison of Parenting and Children’s Behavior in Single-Mother, Single-Father, and Intact Families," Journal of Divorce and Remarriage 29 (1998): 23-54.

8 Elizabeth Thomson et al., "Family Structure and Child Well-Being: Economic Resources vs. Parental Behaviors," Social Forces 73 (1994): 221-42.

9 David Popenoe, Life Without Father (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1996), pp. 144, 146.

10 Gwat Yong Lie and Sabrina Gentlewarrier, "Intimate Violence in Lesbian Relationships: Discussion of Survey Findings and Practice Implications," Journal of Social Service Research 15 (1991): 41-59.

11 D. Island and P. Letellier, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them: Battered Gay Men and Domestic Violence (New York: Haworth Press, 1991), p. 14.

12 Lettie L. Lockhart et al., "Letting out the Secret: Violence in Lesbian Relationships," Journal of Interpersonal Violence 9 (1994): 469-492.

13 "Violence Between Intimates," Bureau of Justice Statistics Selected Findings, November 1994, p. 2.

14 Health Implications Associated With Homosexuality (Austin: The Medical Institute for Sexual Health, 1999), p. 79.

15 David P. McWhirter and Andrew M. Mattison, The Male Couple: How Relationships Develop (Englewood Cliffs: Prentice-Hall, 1984), pp. 252, 253.

16 M. Saghir and E. Robins, Male and Female Homosexuality (Baltimore: Williams & Wilkins, 1973), p. 225; L. A. Peplau and H. Amaro, "Understanding Lesbian Relationships," in Homosexuality: Social, Psychological, and Biological Issues, ed. J. Weinrich and W. Paul (Beverly Hills: Sage, 1982).

17 M. Pollak, "Male Homosexuality," in Western Sexuality: Practice and Precept in Past and Present Times, ed. P. Aries and A. Bejin, translated by Anthony Forster (New York, NY: B. Blackwell, 1985), pp. 40-61, cited by Joseph Nicolosi in Reparative Therapy of Male Homosexuality (Northvale, New Jersey: Jason Aronson Inc., 1991), pp. 124, 125.

18 A. P. Bell and M. S. Weinberg, Homosexualities: A Study of Diversity Among Men and Women (New York: Simon and Schuster, 1978), pp. 308, 309; See also A. P. Bell, M. S. Weinberg, and S. K. Hammersmith, Sexual Preference (Bloomington: Indiana University Press, 1981).

19 Paul Van de Ven et al., "A Comparative Demographic and Sexual Profile of Older Homosexually Active Men," Journal of Sex Research 34 (1997): 354.

20 A. A. Deenen, "Intimacy and Sexuality in Gay Male Couples," Archives of Sexual Behavior, 23 (1994): 421-431.

21 "Sex Survey Results," Genre (October 1996), quoted in "Survey Finds 40 percent of Gay Men Have Had More Than 40 Sex Partners," Lambda Report, January 1998, p. 20.

22 Maria Xiridoui, et al., “The Contribution of Steady and Casual Partnerships to the Incidence of HIV Infection among Homosexual Men in Amsterdam,” AIDS 17 (2003): 1029-1038. [Note: one of the findings of this recent study is that those classified as being in “steady relationships” reported an average of 8 casual partners a year in addition to their partner (p. 1032)]

23 J. Bradford et al., "National Lesbian Health Care Survey: Implications for Mental Health Care," Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology 62 (1994): 239, cited in Health Implications Associated with Homosexuality, p. 81.

24 Theo G. M. Sandfort, et al., "Same-sex Sexual Behavior and Psychiatric Disorders," Archives of General Psychiatry 58 (January 2001): 85-91.

25 Bailey, J.M. Commentary: Homosexuality and mental illness. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry. 56 (1999): 876-880. Author states, "These studies contain arguably the best published data on the association between homosexuality and psychopathology, and both converge on the same unhappy conclusion: homosexual people are at substantially higher risk for some forms of emotional problems, including suicidality, major depression, and anxiety disorder, conduct disorder, and nicotine dependence...."

26 Joanne Hall, "Lesbians Recovering from Alcoholic Problems: An Ethnographic Study of Health Care Expectations," Nursing Research 43 (1994): 238-244

27 R. Herrell et al., "Sexual Orientation and Suicidality, Co-twin Study in Adult Men," Archives of General Psychiatry 56 (1999): 867-874.

28 Vickie M. Mays, et al., "Risk of Psychiatric Disorders among Individuals Reporting Same-sex Sexual Partners in the National Comorbidity Survey," American Journal of Public Health, vol. 91 (June 2001): 933-939.

29 Robert S. Hogg et al., "Modeling the Impact of HIV Disease on Mortality in Gay and Bisexual Men," International Journal of Epidemiology 26 (1997): 657.

30 Sandfort, T.G.M.; de Graaf, R.; Bijl, R.V.; Schnabel. Same-sex sexual behavior and psychiatric disorders. Arch. Gen. Psychiatry. 58 (2001): 85-91.

31 F. Tasker and S. Golombok, "Adults Raised as Children in Lesbian Families," American Journal of Orthopsychiatric Association, 65 (1995): 213.

32 J. Michael Bailey et al., "Sexual Orientation of Adult Sons of Gay Fathers," Developmental Psychology 31 (1995): 124-129

33 Ibid., pp. 127, 128.

34 F. Tasker and S. Golombok, "Do Parents Influence the Sexual Orientation of Their Children?" Developmental Psychology 32 (1996): 7.

35 Judith Stacey and Timothy J. Biblarz, "(How) Does the Sexual Orientation of Parents Matter," American Sociological Review 66 (2001): 174, 179.

36 D. Fergusson et al., "Is Sexual Orientation Related to Mental Health Problems and Suicidality in Young People?" Archives of General Psychiatry 56 (October 1999).

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